The other day I was in tears because I felt an overwhelming feeling of inadequacy as a mom. I’m not sure what triggered the feeling, it’s definitely hard for me to pinpoint my feelings sometimes. But it made me doubt myself, and my parenting.
This is not the first time I’ve felt this way, let’s be real, it’s a familiar feeling. We have bad days, we have bad moments in a normal day, and mess-ups, mishaps, accidents, tantrums, and all of these things make us doubt our parenting skills and question whether or not we are damaging our kids.
Honestly, the feeling has been there, buried underneath some really wonderful memories of this past summer. But it slowly crept back up to the surface right after our vacation was over and we were back home, back to reality. I realize now that it was appropriately timed, because all of my responsibilities were just waiting for me at home and post-vacation had me feeling extremely unmotivated.
I started thinking about the initial days of parenthood, when we first brought our newborn babies home and the pinnacle of parenting them “correctly” was being able to successfully deliver them to their pediatric visits, scoring somewhat average scores on all their measurements and getting them back home in one piece. The big wins were a well-fed baby or getting a stretch of a few hours’ sleep through the night. Of course now 2-3 years in, I feel that these wins were somehow less complicated, even though at the time they exhausted me too.
It’s funny how parenting is ever-changing but the level of exhaustion somehow remains the same. And every time we are getting somewhat comfortable within our roles, we are smacked with some sort of evil wake-up call that has our heads spinning all over again. And I found that in my lowest times, it always helps to talk it out with someone, anyone. My husband, my mother or my friend. Anyone who will talk some sense into you, make you feel less lonely and trapped, and tell you that you are doing a good enough job.
I’m always quick to give everyone else’s parenting the benefit of the doubt. But when it comes to my own, I’ll be the most critical. And I’m sure that most of us are. Mothers are a different breed I tell you, we love hard but we are so hard on ourselves, it’s crazy.
If you ever felt an ounce of inadequacy as a parent/mother, I urge you to reach out to someone, anyone who will turn things around into positivity and tell you how amazing you are.
And if you need me to be that person, feel free to tell me. I mean it.
Have you ever felt inadequate and how do you combat this feeling? Share below in the comments!