My second pregnancy began back in October 2015, when my firstborn Ridha Zaynab was only nine months old. It was around this time of year, and perhaps I am getting a bit nostalgic of it all. Reflecting back on the journey to motherhood and being able to write it all down is a reminder of how far I’ve come and how much has truly changed in our lives. So this post will do just that, take you on a journey with myself- becoming a second time mom.
I remember this time because it was just after our beautiful fall family photo shoot done by Visionaire Photography. And if you can tell from the photo, I was finally starting to get back into shape. I thought my post-baby body episodes were finally coming to a climax, and although things won’t ever be back to the way they were, I was beginning to feel comfortable in my own skin. And lo and behold, it started again.
My pregnancies have never been too bad, Thank God. My first one consisted of inexplicable, endless cravings, aka lots and lots of donuts, melty, cheesy dishes and I discovered a deep love of eggplant. The second time around, the game changed. I had a bout of horrible morning sickness for all nine months. Thankfully, I was prescribed a godsend morning sickness medication that took care of that problem.
No, the game changed for different reasons. I could no longer rely on pampering, because I was the one doing the pampering – pun intended. I had a baby to take care of. In the midst of preparing baby foods, diaper changes, nursing my baby, spit ups and keeping her entertained, I would forget my current state of pregnancy. Multiple times a day.
So the thing about forgetting my pregnant state? Well I meant it. I didn’t do this intentionally to myself, but I took horrible care this time around. My first pregnancy was all by the book, reading and studying the endless pregnancy material in all its forms, health-conscious eating and exercise, you get the point. Second time around, I think the only thing I got right was making it to every doctor’s appointment.
The Real Challenge
It wasn’t until third trimester, that I couldn’t possibly forget even for a moment that I was carrying a child. How could I overlook a giant bump, that prevents you from sitting, standing, sleeping or putting on socks and shoes without struggle? Putting all those aside, the challenging part was managing to carry my baby, and carry my baby. Meaning I was constantly carrying my one year old, who refused to climb steps or walk on her own. And I was carrying her unborn sister, which I think was a challenge in and of itself.
Mom Guilt and Stress
This pregnancy was no joke. Never mind the physical strain of carrying a child, but the anxiety that came with it was an added pressure. I didn’t know how I would manage two babies, a year and a half apart. How I would be able to give my toddler attention that she needs, while taking care of a newborn who is completely dependent on me? The thought is a scary one, and would keep me up, though I don’t think I ever discussed it with anyone. Delivery was a piece of cake in my mind, but the post-baby-coming-into-the-world part was stressing me out.
And if all of that wasn’t enough, add to it the constant mom guilt. I felt that we were doing an injustice to my firstborn, who herself was just a baby and who needed to stay a baby a little while longer. But this new infant would force her to grow up just a little bit faster.
Throughout my pregnancy, I religiously took my daughter to toddler groups at the library, the park, any enriching activity that I thought she’d enjoy. Because it was the only one-on-one time that I would be able to give her. I remember fatigue and episodes of dizziness on some occasions during these outings, but I didn’t want to take that away from her. And so began my balancing act, that is still something I struggle with today.
One thing about having a baby, doesn’t matter if it’s your first, second, or fifth, is how truly magical it is. When we welcomed Rabab Fatima into the world, all the fears, stresses and anxiety just magically vanish for that time. Everything seems possible, and positive, hopeful and amazing. I won’t say that those challenges I faced didn’t reappear, because they did, with brand new ones. However, the stronger faith I had in God that everything would be okay, and the more I believed, the more things did get better, gradually. And hey, we survived it!
I always used to ask mothers in my family and my own mom, how it is possible to love every child unconditionally and equally. Well I didn’t know. I didn’t know how powerful a mom’s heart could be. Each child makes a space in her heart, fit for only them.
How was your second pregnancy different than your first?
25 thoughts on “Realities of Second Pregnancy”
I can TOTALLY relate to this – it’s a little bit frightening! My kids are 21 months apart, and I too was so absorbed by my toddler that I almost forgot I was pregnant. I definitely took worse care of myself and didn’t keep track of all the amazing things going on in my body as I was just too busy! But like you said, once the baby is born, you forget about all your worries and anxiety. It’s not easy having two little kids, but you make it work, and it’s absolutely wonderful! Great post!
Yes!! Thank you so much for your comment. Completely agree with everything you said. It’s nice to know that there are other moms who share similar experiences. 🙂
I am so glad you took the time to reflect on this — and yes, it is magical every time. Your photos are so very beautiful! What a lovely share! M’wah! #FabFridayPost xoxo
Thanks Lisa, that means a lot! :)))
Goodness me, I really don’t know how you manage it. I struggle just with one child. I really don’t think I would have managed being pregnant whilst lugging a one year old around. You have my utmost respect. Well done. Pen x #thesatsesh
That’s so nice of you to say, Thank you!! But believe me, you won’t know what you’re capable of until you go through it. Im sure you’d be just fine! Thanks for commenting :))))
I can relate to all you have said Sumra, I had a tough time looking after my eldest whilst carrying our youngest and when I look back, I wonder how I managed it all?! You just have to though don’t you? And all the worries I had about not being able to love them both equally and fearing that I would favour one over the other have all disappeared. Your heart just grows and makes space for each of them. It’s amazing 🙂 Thank you for joining in with the HoneyBee Linky again! Hope to see you next time lovely! xxx
It truly is amazing, what we are capable of and how our worries just kind of fade away. My pleasure, love the new linky! 🙂
Oh what a lovely post and one that will be so reassuring to other mums. My second pregnancy was exactly the same as my first, no real struggles. I have a much bigger age gap, 4 years, but I was still so worried for different reasons. Less so that I would have to cope with two and more so about how the biggest would cope wish sharing me after 4 years of being alone. Thankfully all has been fine and he adores his little brother. Thanks for linking up with #TwinklyTuesday
That’s really reassuring to hear- that your elder one has accepted & loves his new sibling. I also worried for the same reasons, I thought my elder one would hate her sister loll. But that is not the case, in fact surprisingly she likes her! Thanks for commenting :))
It must be lovely to have 2 so close in age but hard work for you! My second and third pregnancies were very different to my first because I had the other children to concentrate on and their needs came before me having a nap etc! #dreamteam
Yes it actually is wonderful that they’re so close in age, for many reasons. Oh yes, naps are a foreign concept when you have multiple little ones! Lol.
Adding a second child to the mix was a lot harder than I expected…And our girls are farther apart than yours! Being the gluttons for punishment that we are, we are expecting baby #3 at the end of February. I’m not stressing as much this time, but I feel like I should be! ha ha! #fabfridaypost
Oh congratulations! That’s so exciting! I’m happy you’re not stressing, you’ve got this! 🙂
I remember well. I became pregnant with my second daughter when my first was 12 months old and I had morning sickness again. So hard whilst looking after a baby isn’t it? Sarah #fabFridayPost
Yes it is Sarah that’s so close in age!! Bravo to you mama!
Beautiful pictures as ever. I totally agree with you about ‘forgetting’ about the 2nd pregnancy at times and that was even when it was twins! The guilt too was immense when I was tired in the 3rd trimester. Thanks for linking up to #thesatsesh xx
Oh i can’t imagine carrying twins and forgetting it! Lol. Thanks for reading!
#thesatsesh what a lovely idea for a post, I love the honesty and also love that is threading through this post hun, thanks for joining us x
Thanks so much! 🤗
Your two little ones are so precious! I love the armrest photo, completely adorable. Isn’t it funny how pregnancies can be so different. I only have the one so haven’t experienced things second time around. I did, however, go through the forgetting being pregnant stage. But I agree, first time round, everythings by the book. Thanks for joining us for the #DreamTeam x
Aww thanks so much! Yes i remember reading about your first delivery, its kind of unforgettable. Best of luck to you 🙂
This is such a good meaningful story, I always thought the same, how people can love their kids all equally? You made me realize when the right time comes everything will fall in place.
Keep up the good work
Thank you so much for your comment, it made my day!